


Kisses in the Deep Roads

by blustersquall



Series: Fenris x Kestrel Hawke [3]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age - Various Authors, Dragon Age II
Genre: Character Death, Deep Roads, F/M, Kirkwall, Kisses, kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-25
Updated: 2014-10-25
Packaged: 2018-02-22 14:11:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2510552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blustersquall/pseuds/blustersquall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One shot. Hawke experiences nightmares after having to kill her brother to save him from the Taint. When Fenris comforts her, it leads to and unexpected kiss.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kisses in the Deep Roads

"Carver--"

Fenris awoke to the sound of Kestrel's voice. Sleep ridden, panicked, and breathless she turned and twisted in her sleep, arms tensed and hands clenching into fists.

She slept, but not restfully. Her eyes tightly closed and her jaw clenched.

Nearby, Varric snored loudly and the embers of the fire she had made hours ago were smouldering releasing a little light and warmth.

Varric estimated another three days before they reached the surface. That was three days too long in Fenris's opinion. They had set out as a group, become separated by Bartrand as four, and were returning as three, and Kestrel was not handling it well.

Between the bouts of hunger, she would attempt to sleep. Try to rest and escape the exhaustion that was swallowing her with each hour that passed. The few hours she was able to steal had not been restful.

She was plagued by nightmares, images of her younger brother as the taint had quickly taken him over. Of dark blotches appearing on his skin, and the bright amber eyes growing cloudy and grey. And of Bethany, the sister she had failed to save when the Blight began, that Fenris only knew by name. She replayed the moment of her blade sinking into Carver's flesh, piercing his heart moment for moment. A quick death, a merciful death, but one she should not have had to deliver.

Fenris only knew this because he had overheard her talking to Varric when he had pretended to sleep. They took it in turns to keep watch for Darkspawn - though Kestrel took more watches than either himself or the dwarf.

The way she put it, she could at least try and be useful as she failed to sleep.

A small distance away he watched her writhe, her whole body tense and her thin blanket tangled around her feet trapping them. He could see her exposed skin was damp, sweat or tears Fenris wasn't sure but it wasn't the first time he had seen the expression on her face. Short gasps and strangled cries seemed to rip out of her, causing her entire body to tremble.

His body heavy with sleep, Fenris quietly crossed the small space between them, grimacing a little when his bare arms touched the cold ground. He moved slowly and deliberately, easing an arm over Kestrel's waist, holding her arms down to stop her flailing. He kicked away the flimsy blanket around her feet, entangling their legs and lightly pressed his temple against the side of her head, murmuring into her ear.

"It's alright." He hushed her, his voice practically a rumble from his throat. "It's alright... you are safe." He sighed, "you are safe."

This was not the first time he had done this, and he doubted it would be the last before they reached the surface. The first time Fenris had embraced her at Varric's suggestion and it had seemed that his body near hers, maybe the additional warmth, helped her to sleep more soundly.

It had felt... strange - awkward.

As if he had been invading her space and her grief, but his presence had calmed her and for the first time since her blade had pierced Carver's skin, Kestrel had slept more than an hour and had slept soundly.

This was the fifth time? Sixth time he had done this? He wasn't sure. They slept so often and at such strange intervals to strive off the hunger they all felt.

Kestrel's body no longer felt foreign to him as he held her and breathed slowly, ensuring she could feel the inhale and exhale of his own breathing in an attempt to get her to do the same. Her warmth was comforting and welcome in the Deep Roads, and he found that his tactic worked.

He hated to admit to himself that he liked how the mage felt in his arms, the curve of her waist and the swell of her hip as he ran his hand across her torso slowly in an attempt to soothe her. How he could see her up close, long dark eyelashes and a small scar that cut through her right eyebrow. Pink lips, the way her nose turned upwards a little at the end.

 _She's a mage._ He reminded himself. Always, he reminded himself that she was a mage, and no matter how attractive she was or how attracted he was to her, nothing would change that fact.

It took time, but Kestrel's quick breaths slowly began to give way to slower ones. Less panicked gasps, more steady intakes. Her body relaxed, fingers unfurling, and her expression became peaceful, her jaw relaxing.

Content that she would hopefully sleep now, Fenris allowed his eyes to close and his limbs to go heavy as the temptation of sleep closed in around him. Kestrel mumbled softly, and he felt her move against him, rolling over trying to get comfortable on the hard ground which was a feat in itself.

His eyes snapped open when he felt something foreign ghost across his lips.

She was facing him, eyes barely open as her eyelids were heavy with sleep. Her fingers brushed through his hair lazily as she kissed him again, her mouth open, his top lip captured between her own.

Fenris remained stationary, he did not want to move, to risk reciprocating. Surely she was awake and this was some cruel jest. That she would smirk at him in a moment and curl up alone, that her whole appearance of sleeplessness and nightmares had been nothing by a ploy.

Her fingers curled into his hair, tickling the nape of his neck. His hand closed around her hip and Fenris cursed inwardly for the betrayal of his body. Not only his hand, but how heat rose in his chest and a haze seemed to settle across his eyes as they closed and he relinquished to her touch.

He cradled the back of her head with his free hand, touching his thumb to the throbbing pulse point in her neck as she arched her head and drew him closer. An arm wound around his back, her hand pressing between his shoulder blades.

Fenris was gone, his senses were filled and intoxicated by her. Mage or not, he had _wanted_ this for longer than he cared to admit. The touch of her lips, to fill his hands with her and feel each curve, each swell, to know each breath.

He knelt above her, one of her legs between his own, her knee against his inner thigh. He let out a shuddering breath as she moved and unwittingly caressed his building heat. Her fingers trailed across his lower arms, the lyrium markings there ignited, the sensitivity burning him.

A sleepy moan left Kestrel's throat, his name spoken barely above a whisper. Fenris opened his eyes and saw her face, damp lips, flushed cheeks, a dreamy, sleep weighted smile. He touched his forehead to hers, fighting for control of his senses with a tenuous grasp.

"Sleep, Kestrel." He told her, returning to his side, controlling his breathing, slowing his heart beat. His lips tingled with her lingering taste and he swallowed thickly. Kestrel curled up against him, snuggled into his side.

A few hours later, as Varric stomped out the remains of their fire and Kestrel helped to fasten the straps of Fenris's claws and gauntlets he noticed how she avoided his gaze and how her fingers snapped away from his skin as if he was burning.

He let out a sharp breath, grasping a buckle from her fingers as she fumbled with it clumsily.

"What is it?"

"What is what?" Kestrel turned her eyes away, snatching one of her boots and beginning to pull it up her leg.

Fenris arched an eyebrow. "You're jumpy... jumpier than usual."

Kestrel rolled her eyes, buckling her boot and reaching for the other. Fenris wondered if she remembered at all the hours before. Warm breaths and captured lips. Shuddering breaths and a singular soft moan of his name.

He watched her grit her teeth, her jaw tightening.

"I had a dream about you." She shrugged her shoulders and exhaled through her nose, "that's all."

"What kind of dream?" Fenris pressed. She gave him a short glare from beneath her eyebrows. He saw colour rise on her cheeks and got the distinct impression that her gaze lingered on his mouth, then her lashes lowered and her fingers tightened around the straps of her boot.

"Just a dream." She replied vaguely. They finished dressing in silence. Kestrel buckled Fenris's breastplate and he helped her to shrug into the heavy coat she wore over her robes fashioned from a garment once owned by her father. None of them were unscathed, they helped each other without argument to minimise risk of wounds reopening and making existing injuries worse.

"Another glorious day in the Deep Roads." Varric said wryly as he fastened Bianca to his back.

Kestrel twisted her staff in her hands, "absolutely. I'm thinking of opening a tavern down here." She said sarcastically, "think it would prove popular?"

"Not sure if darkspawn would appreciate the fine taste of quality ale." Varric remarked, receiving a small worn out grin from Kestrel in return.

As Fenris rose to his feet to follow, Kestrel turned to him her expression serious and difficult to read. "It was just a dream, wasn't it Fenris?"

He looked at her with no change in his expression, cool and collected and detached. "Considering I don't know what you're talking about, I would say yes."

Kestrel nodded once, turned on the heel of her foot and walked, leading the way as she usually did. Varric came to his side and released a small chuckle shaking his head.

"Watch yourself, elf." He advised treating Fenris to a knowing look. "Before you know it, you'll be in too deep." Without another word, the dwarf set off after Kestrel. A few moments later, Fenris followed in silence.


End file.
